I love talking about my path even though at the moment there isn't much. Why you ask? Because while there are MANY gaps I'm glad to feel more at "home". I haven't been on this path for very long as I've not even known about paganism really for more than 3 or so years. But finally I'm happy. I'm not interested in having a label or being part of a set path such as Wicca or Satanism or what have you. I used to feel so left out or "fake" because here I was knowing all these people with these labels, rituals, HPs and such and there was little ol me, no label really, nothing fit, I was just being me.

But soon I wised up and realized that there is no problem not being able to identify with a larger group. The best thing I can do for my spirituality is let it go where it wants to. If tomorrow I start believing that the universe was created because of some celestial fart then I just have to lol. It may not be common or typical but I've got to be true to myself.

So after all that jabbering, here is what I believe so far:

- I think my biggest belief is balance. I believe that no matter how you try to avoid it, no matter how you align yourself("light" "dark" etc..) there will always be balance. You can go around believing you should harm none, but there will be darkness in your life in some form. It's unavoidable in my eyes. Just like all those times we've seen these horrid people seemingly never get into any sort of trouble or consequence for their actions. My belief in this balance explains it as that the universe just balances it all out. Yes, the murder should face some sort of charge but just because there is a lot of dark in ones life doesn't mean they'll be excluded from what benefits them(or to say, the "good" in life). It differs and molds itself for each person.

I know some might say that this is just what everyone already believes. Similar to the westernized belief in Karma or perhaps even the Three Fold Law. But that's not how I see it. These teach that for every good or bad action there is an equal reaction. I see it as saying that if you do 90% good in your life you'll have 90% of good things come back to you. I don't see it this way. I feel that for all your good, you're still going to put out and receive darkness. Perhaps not on any grand scale, I believe that how much good/bad we have in our lives is regulated by the universe. So for instance, Charles Manson has done a lot of bad. I doubt he's done very little good. And I doubt he'll ever do or have enough good to equal all the bad. You see because he is an extreme, he is someone meant to fuel the darkness the universe needs. But for all the bad he's done, he has and will always have some good. He may not deserve it but the universe to me always gives out a little of each. To have anything 100% one way or the other is imbalance and I think that's something that would destroy the very fabric of life.

Hmm, I hope i haven't confused anyone lol.

-My take on the deities. I believe in them and I do believe they are much more powerful than we are. I do follow the very common "diamond" belief. That we are all facets of the same diamond and that the gods just happen to be larger, more perfect parts of the whole. They too are capable of mistakes and they too are affected by the balance. I currently worship and follow my mother Persephone and Eros. I don't know why I do. I was really interested in both of their stories in Greek Myth but I don't feel that i picked them. I feel that I did find their stories interesting because I was meant to. They are the deities that fit me. They're meant for me at this stage in my life.

-Magic, I believe it exists. But really I just feel magic is energy. It is controlling energy and spells are of course (to me) the means to build it up and direct it. But I don't practice spells. I could and I've been interested but really I feel that energy and such is just a part of life, not a part of my spirituality. Sure it often goes hand in hand with paganism and many alternative paths but I just feel it is a tool, similar to our fingers and toes. Although I much prefer to do things by conventional means. Sure it would be great to do a ritual and pow! Get money. But I feel that it's something that is overused. I'm only saving it for those dire situations of which none have arisen.

-Reincarnation, I'm not sure. I want to believe it exists but all I know is hearsay. I've not studied it for myself really. I've never tried any sort of past life regression so until then I'm not really taking any stance on the afterlife and what happens. Besides, I don't worry myself with it very much. I'm more concerned with my life now, the daily goings on and the future of my time on this earth. I mean really, whatever happens, happens. I can't control it or stop the afterlife. So I see little point in worrying myself as many others do.

That's basically it. I mean, I've really only got my core beliefs set and I've got miles to go to for anything else. My biggest hurtle is my laziness and procrastination. I'd love to sit up for hours reading on various thoughts and pondering all of life's little 'ins and outs'. But I have a horrid time trying to motivate myself. But lately I've been more focused on my spirituality so hopefully soon I can figure out more of it. It's really hard not being some "sheep" on a major path. That's not to say all Recons or Wiccans are sheep. But there are those lucky few "bunnies" who get to just enjoy all of it that's already been laid out by those who've worked hard. They get the luxury of not having to think. They just believe what the majority believes and they're content. I'm not so fortunate. I have to work and constantly dig at myself to figure out what I believe. The rewards are great but getting there is a constant uphill battle.

Oh to be blind and fluffy again, such good times! LOL

So anyway, after all of my rambling the above is my path. It's still very blank but at least I'm getting there.

Black_Rose wrote on Mar 12^th, 2007 at 2:39am:


Yes, for explanations Labels are a *big* help. Right now if I must I just call myself a Pagan, I am. If people need more insight than that then I'll give it to them.