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Penthesilea
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Laughing out loud....
May 3rd, 2007 at 3:59pm
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This bit of silliness has been around for a while. I found it here ----> http://www.comixtreme.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-15321.html
And I thought we needed it.  Cheesy  Enjoy!

If Your Child is a Gothic, Reform Through the Lord!

Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your
child may have gone astray from the Lord.

Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in. The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counselling, prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child:

-Frequently wears black clothing.

-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.

-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.

-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include:
reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other
Satanic worshipping symbols.

-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.

-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of
music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks
against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)

-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak
eccentrically.

-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such
as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.

-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic,
the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.

-Takes drugs.

-Drinks alcohol.

-Is suicidal and/or depressed.

-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)

-Complains of boredom.

-Sleeps too excessively or too little.

-Is excessively awake during the night.

-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to
vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)

-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.

-Spends large amounts of time alone.

-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)

-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.

-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and
elders are but a few examples of this.

-Misbehaves at school.

-Misbehaves at home.

-Eats excessively or too little.

-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.

-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood.
(Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)

-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media
sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)

-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.

-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.

-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.

-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.

-Expresses an interest in sex.

-Masturbates

-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.

-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.

-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".

-Claims to be a goth.

If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.


  

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Penthesilea
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Re: Laughing out loud....
Reply #1 - May 3rd, 2007 at 4:22pm
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The ones that apply to me...

-Frequently wears black clothing. -- Looks down at the black nightshirt and jeans......

-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.--  whoops.... *hides fingers..*

-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include:reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various otherSatanic worshipping symbols. -- How about my black onyx ring and Ares symbol from Xena: Warrior Princess.....

-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos. -- Do my ears count? And the only tattoos I have an interest in are on other people.... Smiley

-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak
eccentrically. -- No comment....

-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such
as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports. -- Again, no comment....

-Is excessively awake during the night. --- My husband works the night shift. Smiley

-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to
vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.) --- It hurts my eyes, okay! Sheesh!

-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult. -- Define "adult."

-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and
elders are but a few examples of this. -- There is not and never has been an obedient bone in my body!  I listened to Mom 'cause she knew more than I did and I knew it!

-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer. ---  Define "excessive." I got a site to run, darn it!!

-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music. --- I'll admit that I boogie to the beat....

-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner. -- hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

-Expresses an interest in sex. --- Yes, I am interested. Very. Extremely. Without reservation. DEAL WITH IT ALREADY!!!







« Last Edit: May 3rd, 2007 at 4:24pm by Penthesilea »  

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FuryRising
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Re: Laughing out loud....
Reply #2 - May 11th, 2007 at 1:59pm
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Penthesilea wrote on May 3rd, 2007 at 3:59pm:


-Frequently wears black clothing.

-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.

-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include:
reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other
Satanic worshipping symbols.

-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.

-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of
music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks
against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)

-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak
eccentrically.

-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such
as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.

-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic,
the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.

-Drinks alcohol.

-Complains of boredom.

-Sleeps too excessively or too little.

-Is excessively awake during the night.

-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to
vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)

-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.

-Spends large amounts of time alone.

-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)

-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.

-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and
elders are but a few examples of this.

-Misbehaves at school.

-Misbehaves at home.

-Eats excessively or too little.

-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood.
(Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)

-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media
sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)

-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.

-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.

-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.

-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.

-Expresses an interest in sex.

-Masturbates

-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.

-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.




Grin

I don't consider myself a goth, but this cracked me up.
  
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Penthesilea
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Re: Laughing out loud....
Reply #3 - May 11th, 2007 at 3:11pm
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I daresay I don't fit the image of the Goth but I have a lot in common with them. I'm just "me" and sometimes that's "Goth" and sometimes that's "Midwestern Housewife and Mother" -- who dresses in black in the summertime and wears black nail polish in Wal-Mart.....  Grin
  

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FuryRising
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Re: Laughing out loud....
Reply #4 - May 11th, 2007 at 4:09pm
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Grin

I still crack up whenever a little kid points at me and says "Look Mommy, a vampire!" or something.  Though, oddly... children tend to be drawn to me despite that initial reaction.

Anyway... I haven't painted my fingernails black in a LOOOONG time... I can imagine how well that would go over at work.  Ruins all my fun.  Smiley
  
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Penthesilea
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Re: Laughing out loud....
Reply #5 - May 11th, 2007 at 4:38pm
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No one has remarked on it yet but then, I've always been considered "weird" even back in high school.   Grin I do strip off the black polish when we visit our conservative Christian friends out of consideration for Skywise since the wife of the couple is a very good friend of his and I don't want to upset her. 
  

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