Penthesilea wrote on Feb 3
rd, 2012 at 5:29pm:
AR. Uni seems to be taking the maxim "That which does not kill you, makes you stronger" way too seriously! You do NOT need to be transformed into SuperGirl or Wonder Woman by next Tuesday!
Well, apparently, Uni thinks I do...
Ugh...
So... long story short... we've been fighting and fighting and fighting and fighting for the last few weeks. We're broke, which makes things stressful, but worse than that, his aunt, who we moved in with to help her out, is the most cold-hearted, nasty, spiteful, mean, whiniest person I have ever met.
Every single time we even start to try to talk things out, she has to butt in, which pisses him off, making things much worse, and we just end up fighting even more.
Things came to a head the other day, when he and I were arguing. If she'd stayed out of it, we'd have talked it out. We know this, because when she does manage to stay out of it, he calms down and we talk it out.
It got to the point that he called his brother to come pick him up. He took his computer, his phone, and said he didn't know if he'd ever be back.
We texted back and forth the rest of the day. Mostly him being in a pissy mood and saying he couldn't handle the fighting anymore, blah, blah, blah... as if the fighting is my favorite thing in the world to do...
Anyway... it was at that point that I said OK, here's how it is. I don't want a divorce (and yep, he threw that word out there a LOT...) But I know things have to change. So lets do a separation. He'd stay living with his aunt, and I'd move in with his sister, where I'd been living when we met, and where my son still lived.
He was okay with this solution. It would give us time apart to figure out what we both really wanted, if we really wanted to stay married or go our separate ways.
One problem... His aunt decided she was kicking him out. Not me, just him. Banning him from the house. Now, I did NOT want to stay living there without him. I'd likely crack, and who knows what I'd do to they old psycho lady then... I'd already made arrangements to move into the basement of sis-in-law's house, and already told hubby about it.
Trying to smooth things over, his brother took him back to old psycho's house, where I was waiting for him. And said brother went off on old psycho, reminding her that hubs and I are the only two people in the world still willing to put up with her crap, because the entire rest of the family wants absolutely nothing to do with her, and everyone else that talks to her is just waiting for her to die so they can get her stuff. He pointed out that we moved in with her because SHE needed the help, not because we did.
And she started screaming at him. Which then pisses of hubs. You don't yell at the people he loves; he goes off. So now brother and hubs are yelling, old psycho lady is screaming, and I'm sitting quietly in a corner trying not to stress myself into a seizure.
She threatens to call the police, at which point brother tells my hubs to get his stuff, he's dropping him off at sis's house. Looks at me and asks if I'm coming, and so I grab my computer and purse, and rush out the door after them.
And here I am, moved back into sis-in-law's house. Hubs is here too. We're converting the basement into a bedroom for us, and we've talked and talked and talked and talked since then, figuring out that yes, we do want to stay married. No, we do not want a separation. Yes, our biggest stress has been living with an old lady who is delusional and forgets when we give her $500 a month for rent, pay the huge freaking cable bill, and keep gas in her car, leaving us totally broke and unable to even buy cigs for hubs. Which of course adds to the stress when he starts going through nicotine withdrawal...
Sigh...
My separation lasted less than a day...
We've still got things to work out. He's got MAJOR anger issues that came to a head this last week in ways that I'd rather not talk about right now.
I know what I should do about what he did, but I won't, because he's agreed that changes are going to be made starting with a counselor. Appointment is already made, and he knows if he doesn't follow through, he's on the streets. And that's from his sister, not me!
But even though we've only been here two nights, it's already better.
Living with his aunt, we'd try to talk, and sometimes we'd be upset when we were talking, because they were hard talks. That doesn't mean we were arguing, just upset. But she'd huff and puff and start to butt in. Which would piss him off, like I said, making things worse, and turning what would have been a productive conversation into a blow out argument between him and his aunt, leaving me sitting back wondering how the hell to keep the peace.
But here, we can talk. If we go down to our room and talk, or whatever, everyone leaves us alone. So we can actually talk and get things figured out...
Sigh... Uni... seriously... SLOW DOWN lol We've been together eight months, and already been pregnant, miscarried, got married, had two separations, both of which lasted less than a day (one lasted all of 45 minutes...) I swear, Uni has compressed 20 years of marriage into 3 months... we've already hit the 7 year itch... ugh...
LOL
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What’s Happenin’? XV: Gone with the Post (Read 31504 times)
