That works too!

Still trying to wrap up that scene in C34................

Good idea! Nite!

I'm heading out too. I can barely see the keyboard.

Everyone sleep well and be safe.

Morning.

Good grief, AR, I think it's well past time for Uni to stop whalloping you over the head with signs, etc. It's crazy how many things are being shown to you all at the same time!

J living across the street wouldn't be so bad. You would still see him, be able to talk to him and he'd be right there when you needed his help or vice versa. Yeah, it may be hard to do but at least y'all won't be that far apart.

I'll be here for the day working on NR again. What I wrote up so far for Chapter 34 is NOT working so I'm going to 86 it and do things over again, in compressed format. It's not really a major key scene so I can get away with it. Now that things are moving ahead again, I'm wanting to REALLY move and start getting loose ends tied up so I can finish this darn thing!! It's getting "TOO LONG" as it is. *SIGH*

I may go POOF due to rain and wind so if I do, that's why.

I am going to get myself another cup of coffee and get caught up now....

Hmm... Am I wrong or doesn't he have a sibling? Couldn't they be the go between if necessary, or another friend, one his mother would not mind talking to him? Just bouncing ideas around, that's all.

Sometimes a PPO is very hard to drop, not all of the time though. I know, my sister had one against someone SHE tried to drop and the Crown Prosecutor (our version of the District Attorney) wouldn't allow her to do it. The only way it's able to be dropped up here is when there is NO conclusive evidence that it's needed and that doesn't always happen. Of course, in some ways Canada tends to be quite strict with things, others not so much, and Nova Scotia has its own regulations, etc.

Hopefully your DA or whoever is handling the one you filed will let you drop yours and let him drop his if he wasn't able to do it yet.

Well, dratters about the family not being trustworthy and his cousin being hated by his mom. Shoot. *SIGHS*

If you talk to a judge or DA about it and explain it to them, they may cancel it. I hope they see you WERE pressured to get it and see that it probably isn't necessary... And that it would be counterproductive at this point, for both of you. You need his support and help, he needs yours. If y'all don't get each other's support, it could make things a LOT worse for both of you. Tossing that in when you're talking with whoever you are in the court system may help with getting yours canceled may help too.

I think because so many cases were NOT taken seriously in the past, the court system tends to go OVER protective of people, and that can cause a LOT of problems. They can't seem to find the right balance and don't look at all sides, they just see ONE side of it and react with telling the one person involved to get a PPO, file charges and run like heck. They don't see J needs help, and he won't be as motivated to get the help he needs unless he knows he can at least talk to you. All they see is a young man who can't control himself and think he's a jerk for doing what he did. They don't see he does have a diagnosed mental illness and that ticks me off.

There are a lot of cases out there that yeah, charges, PPOs, etc ARE required for safety reasons, and sometimes the people who need them the most do not get them... But in your case, it's better NOT to have all of it and the courts won't see it without you and others who see J needs you and your support talking to them about it.

Tell that to the court when you go to cancel the PPO. They need to hear that in order to get a better picture of it, to help them see MORE than what they see now. And tell them, loudly and clearly, you are NOT brainwashed by him, you're thinking VERY clearly and rationally.

Uni does that.

Morning. I'm here and as soon as I get the laundry sorted, the washer will be chugging away. Skywise goes back to work tomorrow *wail!* so it's back to the grind for me too.

AR, why does his family hate you so much? Are they excessively controlling or just nuts?

Penthesilea wrote on Sep 30^th, 2012 at 2:27pm:

[quote author=6E5B504A565B4D57525B5F3E0 link=1345329993/712#712 date=1349015236]
Both controlling and nuts.  They've only ever heard about the bad parts of our relationship.  The fights, his anger, the controlling, etc.  They think I'm bad for him, and that things that I've said to try to force him to see how much help he needs were lies, and they weren't.  I've only ever told the truth.

They don't see that I love this man unconditionally.  And that if I truly thought he was a danger to me, I'd already be done with him.  I do have anxiety and depression issues, and I've had those my whole life.  But I'm going to be getting those under control, and he can help me get those under control.  Heck, he managed to help me force myself to get a lot of my social anxiety under control!

And they don't see that I can help him get himself on track.  Everyone keeps saying we have to do it apart, and then get back together.  They don't realize that being together was slowly pushing towards that anyway.  We knew we had issues, and we had to have something huge to force us both to see that, but being apart is NOT the answer.  Period.  I see that now for sure.

aranarose wrote on Sep 30^th, 2012 at 2:39pm:

Penthesilea wrote on Sep 30^th, 2012 at 2:27pm:

Ugh, that's the problem, they're only seeing ONE side of it all and probably don't want to see anything else, I'm betting.

Seems to me J is the only rational and open minded person in the family...

Unless they've gone to court and been given legal guardianship of him, he's an adult and legally, they can't do things like deny him access to a phone or keep him from seeing anyone he wants to see. The PPOs are a problem at the moment but once those are out of the way, his family has no legal right to keep him from seeing you. In fact, depending on how they did it, they could be charged with a crime themselves.

Penthesilea wrote on Sep 30^th, 2012 at 3:14pm:

Exactly.

I'm trying to remember exactly what crime they can be charged with... Brain isn't fully awake despite it being after noon here.... *head desk*

Different jurisdictions have different names for it but it amounts to the same thing. Holding someone against their will. It is legal for a parent to do that with an underage child under most circumstances -- grounding your fifteen year old doesn't qualify -- but once that kid is "legal" parents hands are tied unless they can convince a court that said child in incompetent to manage their own affairs. And THAT is a complicated process. We had a fairly easy time of it because the girls are unquestionably autistic. We just needed a lawyer, up to date evaluations and a court date. In J's case, I think his parents would have a harder time convincing a judge that he was incompetent at all times to make decisions for himself.

Penthesilea wrote on Sep 30^th, 2012 at 3:14pm:


His PPO against me was denied, but the judge signed mine without a hearing.  I'm going tomorrow, if I'm out of the hospital, down to the courthouse to the PPO office to find out what I have to do to get that damn thing dropped.  Period.

Veridian Etoile wrote on Sep 30^th, 2012 at 3:14pm:


She came to visit me at the hospital yesterday, so I could get some work done and not be so bored out of my mind.  The being alone with my thoughts thing was NOT helping the depression and anxiety thing.