I'd say you got off lucky! I hope the uni gives something nice to that officer for being so easy on you AR.

Up here, that would have amounted to at least a... $300 fine if I'm not mistaken? I'd have to do a double check. Things are VERY strict up here when it comes to speeding even outside of school zones.

*DIVES BEHIND A PLANT*

*pokes head out from behind the plant* Is it safe yet???

Veridian Etoile wrote on Oct 2^nd, 2012 at 6:42pm:


Yeah, barring more copier attitude..

Done with printing and copying, barring my finding a defective page while I'm putting the new pages back in the manuscript. I'm going to try to have this thing ready to go tomorrow but I don't know if I'll make it or not. Federal forms intimidate me.  Right now, I'm going to veg and have chocolate...

While you do that, I'm going to get a short nap in since it will likely be 4 am local before I get to bed tonight.


Have I mentioned how I hate the super late shift?

Still working on the whole trusting Uni thing... it's still a day-by-day struggle... everything will be OK in the end... but waiting is killer.

I've made up my mind what I have to do, and I'm doing it even if everyone around me thinks I'm absolutely insane.  I have to have my own place, whether he and I work things out or not, because being here has too many memories, both good and bad.  I have to have a fresh start either way, and it has to be ASAP.

My plan is to push myself to work hard enough to move by October 22nd.  And then he can decide what he wants.

So after dropping my son off at driver's ed, I sit in the car with tears pouring down my eyes, begging Uni for a sign.  Which way?  Should I give up?  Or should I keep working towards us being back together?

And I asked for that sign to be a song.  Any song.  Uni gets to choose.

And Uni sent not one, not two, but three songs, right in a row, on different stations.

Where Have You Been - Rhianna
Want U Back - Cher Lloyd

And I can't even think of what the third one is right now, but it was along the lines of a guy singing about how he'd met the one and was going to do whatever it took to make sure he had her.

So yeah... still working on that trusting Uni thing, but at least I know what I have to do.  Just wait, trust, get my life together, get a place, and see what happens.

Done listening to everyone around me.  Told someone today that I'm done talking to everyone around here about it, because they don't get that I don't want advice.  I don't want their input.  I just want them to listen while I vent, because I need to get stuff out of my head.  But instead of listening, they all make me feel like I'm crazy, and that's not helpful at all.

So I'm going to go into hiding for awhile, just me and my computer, away from people until I get my head straight.

AR, you are one of the sanest people I know... Don't let others convince you otherwise!! Sometimes people just don't understand that all someone wants sometimes is a sounding board, a friend or loved one to lean on and will dole out advice like candy at Halloween. Drives me nuts if you want to know the truth!



I have an 8 year old screaming for his computer time now so I'll hand it over to him just for some peace and quiet!

Have a great night everyone... I'll be in for a little while in the morning and offline around 8:30 or so my time, Hubby works weekday day shift tomorrow (9-3) so I'll be offline writing most of the daytime. (I is hoping to wrap up chapter 35 if I can, and maybe even get started on Chapter 36.. hehehehehe!)

See y'all tomorrow!

He's the one that pulled me out of "hermit mode," and it was REALLY bad before he came along.  I'd spend 20 hours a day by myself, in my room, coming out to eat, shower, and occasionally visit with people, or run to the bank.  If I wanted something, for the most part, I ordered it online.

Then we started dating, and he dragged me out of that.  But I never quite felt comfortable around people.  I still wanted to hide a lot of the time.  But I stayed out for him.  And as time went by, I got a bit more and more used to it.

But suddenly, he's gone, and everyone around me is feeling sorry for me, and looking at me like I'm nuts for not only wanting him back, but believing with all my heart that it will happen.  I keep hearing the same songs over and over, and sometimes, at the same time on two different radio stations, or one after the other on two different radio stations.

But according to everyone else, it's just wishful thinking.  Really?  Of all the songs they could play, they play the song that was supposed to be our wedding song literally the moment that I say, "I hope he knows I'm waiting for him"?  And it's a song that was popular last year, but it's faded a lot, you don't hear it as much anymore.

And yellow cars.  OH MY GODS the yellow cars.  He had this game that he played.  If you saw a yellow car and called it, you got a point.  It's a fun game, because you don't realize just how uncommon yellow cars are until you're playing it.  We could go days and days without seeing a yellow car.  But now?  Dozens of them.  I'll see four or five right in the same lineup of cars, or parked in the same parking lot.

These seemingly little things are signs to me, and the people around me make me feel a little irrational for believing in them.

They don't realize that I'm aware that I could be wrong.  Maybe he won't change.  Maybe it will happen again.  Maybe he doesn't want me, and just wants to be done with it.

But here's the thing.  I made him promise me that if he was done, if he was going to move on, he'd tell me himself.  And he hasn't.  In fact, what I've gotten from him is that he does love me, and he does want me back, though not directly from him, because of the PPO.  But this was from a trusted friend.  I know what he wants.  I just have to find a way to contact him, or wait for him to contact me, to arrange it.

Penthesilea wrote on Oct 3^rd, 2012 at 1:13am:


LOL I'd gotten this new, local client last week, and she paid me some of what she owes me today.  I decided to take my son and my niece to McDonald's, and I was talking about how I need to force myself to wait until he's got his life together before we get back together, and one of those things is for him to have a job, because it will take pressure off of me, and we'll have extra money.

I'd been saying that he and I can talk, date, spend lots of time together, but until he has a job, I'm not sure I'll let him move in with me, even in my own place.

As we pull up to the window to pay, I was in shock.  There stands a guy wearing a hoodie just like one that I'd bought him earlier this year.  It was his favorite hoodie, and he wore it out fast because of how often he had it on.

I made some sort of comment, and even my son had to admit that it was so strange that I was just talking about him having a job, and not caring what kind of job he had, and then there's a guy working at McDonald's with that hoodie.

The signs are there, if we care to look for them.  And they're even more powerful if we ask for a specific sign and receive it.

For instance, I've been asking for song signs, and there are a couple of songs showing up over and over on multiple radio stations to remind me that it's going to be okay.

I finally got the form filled out and it is actually neat enough to read. I'd put it in with the manuscript but the Queen is using the box for a pillow and given that she's been a tad on the cranky side tonight (Moonie keeps trying to groom her with a FURminator comb) I'm not going to disturb her. I don't think that dried blood on the box would go over well when it gets to the screening facility!  Dinner will be ready in a few minutes and I'll try to get finished packing it up after we eat. If not, I may have to wait until morning. Fortunately, as far as I know, Skywise will work the late shift again tomorrow night so we'll have time to get to the post office.