I miss my calm life.  The life where he and I would spend all our time together, and I'd work just enough to pay the bills LOL

Now?  I have a bunch of teenagers to drive to school everyday.  I'm going to have doctor's appointments up the whazoo.  And I work to keep my mind off of my broken heart.

But all the signs keep telling me to have patience.  that he has to get his life together, and when he feels ready, he'll contact me, and we'll get back together.  And that it will happen sooner than anyone thinks.

The signs also tell me to get my butt busting so I can get my own place, which will help to expedite the getting back together process, or the healing process if we don't ever get back together.

It's about fresh starts now.  Starting over.

I did a reading with one of my Faerie decks last night, and it basically pointed out that I can't give into temptation.  I have to have hope, yes, because there is hope, but if I give into my temptation and push too hard for us to be back together too soon, we'll slip back into old habits, and it will happen again.  And if it does happen again, that would have to be the end forever.

So patience is my current lesson, and it's one that I'm really, really, really struggling with.

My new client paid me last night  Which is always good.  It means I could put gas in the car, pay some money back that I owe, and I'm a little bit closer to one of my smaller goals, which I will have the rest of the money for on Monday.

I'm pushing myself hard to work as many hours as I can now.  I have to do it just to prove to myself that I can.  For the last year and a half, everyone blamed J for not letting me work enough.  I even found myself slipping into blaming him as well.  But he's not here now to keep me from working, and I'm still not making as much as I'd like.  This whole process has made me realize how many mistakes I made all around, and is helping me to figure out how to fix it.

I'm out of here for now, I have just under 6 hours to get Chapter 35 finished and hopefully start Chapter 36.

See y'all later this afternoon, have a great day everyone!

Just got back from the doctor.  They managed to find a med that I can take for the depression and anxiety that won't lower my heart rate.  In fact, it may have the effect of raising my heart rate!  Bonus LOL

I have another appointment on Monday, and then yet another in two weeks.  Plus I'm waiting for the cardiologist's office to call and schedule that appointment.

Oh, good gods...

And I got signs while I was at the doctor's office.  I'm sitting there thinking of J, of course, and asked for a sign that if we are going to get back together, give me a sign.  Boom... yellow truck drives by...

Then I decided to ask for another very specific sign.  That if we are going to get back together in a certain period of time, another yellow vehicle will drive by and I will see it drive by before leaving the building.

Now, mind you, yellow cars aren't all that common.  That's why J always like to play that game, because you could go days without seeing one.

Yeah... yellow car drove by just a minute before the doctor came back in to tell me his conclusions and what he was prescribing, etc.  So yup, I'm getting my signs still LOL

I'm back and still trying to transition from writing mode to mother/moderator mode. Feeling wonky, giddy, cross eyed, high as a kite from the rush, and just plain OUT OF IT!!!

Chapter 35: DONE.

Chapter 36: HALFWAY DONE.

A HUGE scene was done today too. Heh. 

Over 5,000 words in just under six hours... YIKES, when I get on a roll, I get on a roll..... 

****************
AR, it's nice to know the Uni is still giving you GOOD signs... I do hope that things work out for you! 

And for the record, yellow cars are not that common in my area either... There are two almost identical Mustangs, both yellow though... One is owned by a lady I used to work with, she has it pimped up with all Tweety Bird stuff (LOVE IT!) and the other one is just a regular yellow Mustang. Other than that I think there may be five other yellow cars in the area. The rest are your everyday colors like silver, brown, white, black, etc.

Okay, I'm here but still out of it... Time to get caught up too. I'll be rereading and editing ALL I wrote today, plus adding more detail to that "key scene" I managed to get mostly done just before bus time. If I can get that finished and move on a little bit more, I'll be a happy camper.

Did I eat that onion???? 

Gotcha Penth, welcome back.

I think I'm going to hold off updating my writing blog until tomorrow... If I write anything else today, I want it to be in the MANUSCRIPT....

On a side note: I really, REALLY need a leash for that brain of mine... Sheesh!!! 

Yeah, if anyone would, it's another writer like you or someone in the ultra creative field!!!

Son's distracted... Good thing because well... I'm going to see if I can add more detail to that last scene I wrote up... It's NOT fit for someone under the age of 18....

KIDS.

Can't do it now, he's hanging around WAY too much for my piece of mind. I can't hold the curtain between the kitchen and the computer area shut when I'm typing...One side is easily done, I can hold it against the wall with my knee. The other side of it is behind me so holding it shut while typing is out.

Maybe later. It does need a few more things added here and there to bring it up closer to my standards... Hmm....

Maybe I'd just better stick to bouncing around ideas for now. Or plan what to do in Chapter 37, which will probably be coming up soon....

Penthesilea wrote on Oct 3^rd, 2012 at 9:17pm:

LOL, I won't have it on the desktop like I do with Book 2, that's for sure!!! He doens't know how to open Adobe, YET, thank the gods... But knowing THAT child, he'll figure it out now that I said he hasn't learned how to do it yet. He's THAT smart I swear!!!

It was fun writing it up... And the worst of it is, my husband figured it out when I told him Son is NOT allowed near the computer while I'm editing the scene... *FACEPALM!!* He really razzed me for it and I haven't stopped blushing since!!

MEN.  (No offense, D, Skywise and LD!!)

And for the record, it's all "Penth friendly"... Just saying!!!

I don't believe in writing something that will make me gag. If I find out one of my most trusted friends can't handle certain things, it's out and I will put in stuff that I know doesn't bother them.

The "BIG" scene I wrote up today is only a page and a half long... And it's only in the ROUGH stages. It needs MORE to it. (Not saying WHAT here, this IS a PG board after all!) It's at over 1000 words, but a LOT happens in it.

The next scene will be a bit of a "continuation" from that one so technically, it's going to be more than that in that way too.

Like your characters, these two were waiting awhile for this, but for different reasons. Let's just say that they wanted things to be a little more cleared up between them, but "instinct" took over! LOL I'm going to do a few "less is more" spots like I did in Part 1 but I plan on having a few "more is awesome" areas too. I don't have many "R" areas in the book and although the ones I have are good, I'd like to have a few more before things go boom and the grand finale.

I'm thinking in the continuation, the leading lady gets her "revenge".... Hehehehehe.... 

The second "scene" idea I mentioned not that long ago... Heh. LOL

Yeah it's good! ALL good... hehehehee....

Now I'm blushing again. Hubby is REALLY going to razz me if he sees how red my cheeks are! ARGH! *head desk!*

Nite!

I found a place in Book 2 where a sentence was missing and I had to hunt it up. Thank the Gods that I keep multiple copies of previous drafts tucked away!