Mooncat, hun, I know by reading your mom's post it does sound like she's saying the autism has ruined her life. But, that isn't what has happened, even if Penth doesn't see it yet.
What has happened is it has CHANGED her life from what she envisioned it to be. Yes, this change is very dramatic, often quite difficult to live with, and ever present. However, it is a change which has occured and must be met with gusto.
"No plan survives contact with the Enemy." - Sun Tzu, The Art of War
How does this apply? Am I saying you or autism is an enemy?
Not in the slightest.
Master Tzu was describing a universal concept within a specific context (that of battle). What it means is thus:
"One can make a plan, but the situation for which you've planned will cause your plan to be adapted or abandoned."
In the early stages of our development, all humans want specific things to happen. For most, Power, Money, Wisdom, Love, and Fame are goals to plan for. However, upon growing up, many of us learn only two of those situations are really worth obtaining. Wisdom and Love. Neither of these can be gained via planning.
Growing up, I wanted to be a rich and famous singer in a rock band. Never having children, never getting married, being able to pick the woman of the night/week and moving on when bored. But, then the enemy approached, and my plans fell apart.
My childhood dream's enemy was Black Rose and her daughter. I very quickly learned my dreams were no longer important. I still have a few of my earlier dreams which I want to accomplish ("I might be able to claim a tiny portion of the dreams I had..." as your mother puts it), but I know my life would not be a enriched without the loss of some of those dreams.
Trust me, a child's love for her mom or dad makes up for loosing dreams.
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