The *seeing* kills me.  Because I've only just started *seeing* things in the last several months, so I'm not used to it at all.  And I'm still learning the difference between *seeing* things and wishful thinking.

With the wishful thinking, I can change what I'm seeing, quite easily.  But with the *seeing*?  No matter how I want it to be, or how everyone talks about it, it stays exactly the same.

From the start, when I started seeing the wedding, it was one way.  And crazy, it definitely was.  But the people who were there?  Always the same, no matter who asks to be in the wedding.  It's always the same four guys with him and the same four girls with me.  And even when he said we would get married in February, I saw a summer wedding.  And I'm pregnant, about five months at the wedding.  Which means I get pregnant around February or so.  Which just so happens to go with a "conversation dream" that I had.  And the vision of the wedding has stayed the same throughout.

And oh, the "conversation dreams."  Those are new, too.  They freak me out.  I'll be sitting down with someone, in the dream, having a matter-of-fact conversation.  And they'll tell me something is going to happen.  And I'll deny it.  But then, in real life, whatever they said was going to happen?  It happens.  It happened with my grandmother's death.  With J asking me out, and proposing, all of it.  I had conversation dreams about those.  And I've had a conversation dream where the dream person says, "You'll be pregnant in February, and planning a summer wedding."  And I had that dream BEFORE he proposed.  BEFORE he set the date for the wedding for February and then changed it to July.

So yeah... it's crazy.  I hang on when I should probably let go, because I *see* what's possible.  I *see* how happy we WILL be together.

I've seen our daughter's wedding.  Where he walks her down the aisle, hugs her, bends down and kisses her on the forehead, and says, "I love you baby girl, and I'm so proud of you."  I've seen it.  And it drives me nuts, because I want it to happen so much now.  And I'm just hoping that we can get through all this crap.

Seriously hugging on both of you. No kind of precognition here. I just close my eyes, make the best decision that I can with the information I have and go forward.

Hang on to THAT vision. I know it is no consolation but even coming up on our 32nd wedding anniversary, Skywise and I STILL fight like cats and dogs -- just not as often as we used to!

More  AR, I'm thinking of you!!

That's it for me, time to head out and veg for a bit. My son wants me to play Yugi Oh on the computer....

Have a great night everyone, I'll be back in sometime tomorrow.

Penthesilea wrote on Aug 3^rd, 2011 at 11:40pm:


I think it definitely applies to a Virgo living with a Capricorn, both of whom are bipolar.  And he is CLASSIC Capricorn in every way.  Bossy, stubborn, you name it.  It's part of what attracts me to him; I adore dominant, in-charge men.  I'm the classic submissive LMAO

But... he's 20... and yeah... that's an issue.  Not because I have a problem with it, but because 20 year olds aren't always quite ready for soul mate relationships, which are always the hardest relationships.

And now he's home.  He was going to stay at his mom's until Friday, but decided to ask us to pick him up, so we did.  Like I'm going to say, "No, you're a bad boy.  You have to stay at your mom's house,"?  LOL

We're going to talk tonight after everyone else goes to bed, so we can have some privacy.  Because he's just got to learn the, "I'm breaking up with you," texts are NOT COOL.  I understand getting pissed off.  I totally understand needing space.  But that is NOT the way to handle it.  At all.

I'm falling asleep at the keyboard. Time to head out.

Everyone sleep well and be safe.

Awake and getting ready to go to the doctor this morning.  Oh yay... J is sleeping, sort of.  He has a funeral to go to today.  Another oh yay...  I've already been up, puked, got his dress shirt in the dryer to tumble out the wrinkles, and sat here debating whether or not to wake his butt up...

Afternoon everyone...

It's a cooler and cloudy day here, with a nice breeze, temps are in the high 60s, but we have high humidity again. Looks like the rain we got is now evaporating somewhat, putting moisture into the air and making it feel a lot warmer than what it is.

Time for another coffee, get caught up and to check my SP Pets in another tab....

Agreed, AR... Making up is great, but the fighting part stinks... Big time!!

I just drained about 1/2 cup of liquid out of my keyboard. Apparently Hubby broke the rules and gave my son some apple juice while he was playing Bejeweled on the computer this morning and spilled some into the keyboard by accident, even though I told Hubby REPEATEDLY that our son is NOT to eat or drink around the computer at all.  I AM ticked off, but not at my son, I'm ticked at Hubby because HE was the one who broke that rule, not our little guy!!

Now if this keyboard goes wonky, Hubby owes me a new one... And I want a cordless one this time. He's the one who gave my son the juice, it's only fitting he's the one who pays if it's toast!!

I know it AR!!

So far, none of the keys seem to be sticking... BUT that could change...

Yeah, you are lucky! Hubby was complaining about me spilling stuff on my keyboard but he forgets that I do my best to get it cleaned out ASAP. Since my son kept his mouth shut about spilling the apple juice for fear of losing his computer privileges, it was there for a while before I saw it. It was around the Home/Delete/page up/page down keys and not in the letter keys area where I would have noticed it a lot quicker.

I always tell the little guy that if he is drinking something like juice, water, soda, etc, he is to be away from the computer, like sitting on the stairs or in the kitchen, that way if he does spill something, it won't fry the computer. Hubby forgot about that rule and that's why there was juice in my keyboard. UGH.

My son is only 7 and unfortunately, he is like me and not well coordinated, poor little guy!!