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On My Journey (Read 52432 times)

Penthesilea Forum Administrator Offline Warrior Queen, DarkLady, Phoenix, Ghostbuster Posts: 47422 Location: The Castle..... Joined: Jun 21^st, 2006 Gender:	Re: On My Journey Reply #550 - Feb 10^th, 2010 at 5:45am	Print Post
	Still working on developing the habit of practice. I've been slowed down a bit by the "tummy bug" I seem to have picked up. It isn't bothering me too much but I'm spending a lot of time sleeping! Oh well, sleeping will probably help me get over the last effects of my cold too and I'll keep doing what I can until I'm completely well.


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Penthesilea Forum Administrator Offline Warrior Queen, DarkLady, Phoenix, Ghostbuster Posts: 47422 Location: The Castle..... Joined: Jun 21^st, 2006 Gender:	Re: On My Journey Reply #551 - Feb 18^th, 2010 at 7:18pm	Print Post
	Still experimenting with the preliminaries, finding out what works best for me which is something the texts I'm using encourage. Right now, I'm working on a mantra to use while meditating to keep my busy little brain from flitting around like a hummingbird on speed! That and getting Robert Bruce's book read are my main projects at the moment. Speaking of which, I need to be busy. Later.


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Penthesilea Forum Administrator Offline Warrior Queen, DarkLady, Phoenix, Ghostbuster Posts: 47422 Location: The Castle..... Joined: Jun 21^st, 2006 Gender:	Re: On My Journey Reply #552 - Feb 21^st, 2010 at 5:06am	Print Post
	I got a much needed boost today. Maybe it was the weather that was affecting me but I think I'm back on track finally. I'm going to take another day to finish up some "mundane" projects and then dive back into my writing, my studies and my (icky poo!) exercises. I know that there IS a light at the end of the tunnel, even if it hasn't come into view yet, and I know that it isn't the express freight! So with that in mind, it's time for this little writer/soceressperson to get busy! I don't know when that light is going to come into view, it might be next week or next month or whenever but when it does, I'll be ready. The Universe is on my side, finally, and I intend to make the most of it!
	« Last Edit: Mar 24^th, 2010 at 7:29pm by Penthesilea »

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Penthesilea Forum Administrator Offline Warrior Queen, DarkLady, Phoenix, Ghostbuster Posts: 47422 Location: The Castle..... Joined: Jun 21^st, 2006 Gender:	Re: On My Journey Reply #553 - Feb 25^th, 2010 at 3:59am	Print Post
	I've been playing around with the "mundane" details of organizing a poly-friendly, pagan intentional community. I've noticed lately that pagans can be as stiff necked about polyamory as non-pagan folks so I've made it a point to make acceptance of the practice a requirement for membership. Polyamory would not be a requirement for joining my so far hypothetical community but not clucking with disapproval every time the members of the poly households walk into the Community Center for a celebration would be. Also need some conduct rules that probably would ruffle some feathers but setting up a pagan community in a conservative area means that certain lines must be toed and certain conventions adhered too in order to keep the busybodies at bay. I've also decided how to handle land ownership -- got the idea from a community operating down near Bloomington and I've set at least some of the requirements to be considered for membership in the community. I also have an idea for a unique business that would make the most of some otherwise "unproductive" land that would be part of the community's holdings. All in all, it's interesting and I'm having fun. Now all I have to do it earn the money to make it happen. Piece of cake...


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Penthesilea Forum Administrator Offline Warrior Queen, DarkLady, Phoenix, Ghostbuster Posts: 47422 Location: The Castle..... Joined: Jun 21^st, 2006 Gender:	Re: On My Journey Reply #554 - Feb 26^th, 2010 at 8:21pm	Print Post
	I've been researching the cost of undeveloped land in this county. It's running about $6,000 per acre which is outrageous when you are taking about land that's an hour's hike from the nearest road! sigh Still, it gives me an idea of how much to budget as soon as I figure out how much land is in my proposed project area......


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Penthesilea Forum Administrator Offline Warrior Queen, DarkLady, Phoenix, Ghostbuster Posts: 47422 Location: The Castle..... Joined: Jun 21^st, 2006 Gender:	Re: On My Journey Reply #555 - Mar 4^th, 2010 at 4:09pm	Print Post
	Remembering. Three years ago....


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Penthesilea Forum Administrator Offline Warrior Queen, DarkLady, Phoenix, Ghostbuster Posts: 47422 Location: The Castle..... Joined: Jun 21^st, 2006 Gender:	Re: On My Journey Reply #556 - Mar 5^th, 2010 at 1:32am	Print Post
	I got confirmation today that something I decided yesterday was the right way to go. Things are falling into place, I just have to muster just a little more *patience* and pay attention to the signs. Things might start moving this weekend. If not, then next week some time. Just have to see how things shape up but the signs are appearing again after a dry spell. I'm ready and I'm NOT gonna let anything stop me from reaching my goals.


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Penthesilea Forum Administrator Offline Warrior Queen, DarkLady, Phoenix, Ghostbuster Posts: 47422 Location: The Castle..... Joined: Jun 21^st, 2006 Gender:	Re: On My Journey Reply #557 - Mar 16^th, 2010 at 8:58pm	Print Post
	March 16, 2007 5:24 pm I remember....


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Penthesilea Forum Administrator Offline Warrior Queen, DarkLady, Phoenix, Ghostbuster Posts: 47422 Location: The Castle..... Joined: Jun 21^st, 2006 Gender:	Re: On My Journey Reply #558 - Apr 9^th, 2010 at 7:08pm	Print Post
	I've been reading a book about Chaos Magick and wondering... Also researching some aspects of voodou, not with an eye becoming a full fledged devotee but perhaps to developing a relationship with certain Lwa. That will require more research. �If I can find the book I want to read this weekend, I'll be getting it. �One thing about it, it appears to work and work a lot better than other systems and for that reason, I'm interested. I'm also working on something mentioned in one of the blogs I follow. We in the "West" have the ingrained notion that the use and demonstration of "power" is wrong somehow. Especially if said "use and demonstration" results in some material benefit for the one performing the operation. I'm a practical girl, I guess. What is the point of working your butt off to develop your magickal abilities, to acquire power and then refuse to use it to better your circumstances? �How is it more noble to do "work" in order to progress spiritually when you can't cover the rent? We might wish it otherwise but a high degree of enlightenment will NOT put food on the table or cash in the kids' college fund. So. What is the justification for living paycheck to paycheck when, with a suitable application of magick and mundane effort, that situation could be changed for the better? �I've yet to find one. I suspect that a good deal of it might be one of the "leftovers" from the 60's. The "hippies" of that era had some good ideas but a disdain for earning a living wasn't one of them. Most of them did end up having to do so but the distaste for the process lingered. Outside the affluent West, where life is hard and the means to survive difficult to come by, there are no such illusions. �In those places, a person with power is expected to use it. To help themselves and to help others AND to make a living doing it and not only is that NOT a bad thing, it is expected and admired. I don't currently plan on making a living by magick but.. I'm looking to make some serious changes in our reality.


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Penthesilea Forum Administrator Offline Warrior Queen, DarkLady, Phoenix, Ghostbuster Posts: 47422 Location: The Castle..... Joined: Jun 21^st, 2006 Gender:	Re: On My Journey Reply #559 - Apr 12^th, 2010 at 4:27pm	Print Post
	An observation just wandered through my head and with it, a question. In "most" occult circles, using magick to influence/manipulate/whatever someone's free will is an absolute "no-no!" Especially if the result benefits the magick user. However, those very same people think it's perfectly okay to use non-magickal means, including some that might be considered shady ethically, to influence/manipulate/whatever someone's free will. So my question is, why is the use of magick to influence someone anathema while non-magickal "mundane" methods to the same end are okay? I mean, people who can "play the game" of office politics to advance their careers are admired, grudgingly perhaps, but still admired while those who use magick to improve their chances are regarded by their peers as lacking in ethics and are somewhat looked down upon. This does not seem to be the case outside of the modern Western traditions so I'm wondering where this attitude came from and why do so many buy into it.


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Penthesilea Forum Administrator Offline Warrior Queen, DarkLady, Phoenix, Ghostbuster Posts: 47422 Location: The Castle..... Joined: Jun 21^st, 2006 Gender:	Re: On My Journey Reply #560 - Apr 26^th, 2010 at 12:44am	Print Post
	I think I'll work on my spellbook a bit this evening. I need to let Chapter 4 "settle" a bit before I dive back in and the spellbook is a productive way to use my time. I've decided to put all (or at least, many) of the spells I've collected in one place rather than have them be scattered through all the spellbooks I've collected these past few years. When done, I'll have a database of spells classified by type (financial, breaking bad habits, love, etc.) and classified as to whether the spell is considered manipulative or non-manipulative. I'm not going to automatically exclude the manipulative spells from my database because I can think of a few situations in which the free will of another person would be of absolutely NO concern to me. �In any of those situations, the gloves will be off so.. yeah. Anyway, this isn't getting the transcribing done.
	« Last Edit: Apr 26^th, 2010 at 4:04pm by Penthesilea »

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Penthesilea Forum Administrator Offline Warrior Queen, DarkLady, Phoenix, Ghostbuster Posts: 47422 Location: The Castle..... Joined: Jun 21^st, 2006 Gender:	Re: On My Journey Reply #561 - Apr 26^th, 2010 at 4:21pm	Print Post
	I got a good start on the spell book last night. I've got the database arranged in alphabetical order by spell type and I'm going through and putting the spells in under their appropriate headings. I've also started a formulary database for all the special oils, brews, powders, sachets, waters, gels, soaps and whatnot that I have (non-food) recipes for. The food recipes are fortunately mostly confined to my cookbooks and they don't need their own database. Thank the Gods!


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Penthesilea Forum Administrator Offline Warrior Queen, DarkLady, Phoenix, Ghostbuster Posts: 47422 Location: The Castle..... Joined: Jun 21^st, 2006 Gender:	Re: On My Journey Reply #562 - Apr 28^th, 2010 at 7:04pm	Print Post
	I am slowly (too damned slowly but what are ya gonna do?) assembling the books I need to train in the discipline of magick. I'm finding that the slender tomes, published privately or by the lesser known publishers, are the most beneficial. �They have been trimmed of fluff and filler and what's left tends to be clear, concise and to the point. Which is how I prefer my instructional material. �Today's mail contained a book from an "old school" practitioner of magick. "Old school" in that he was trained in Europe prior to WWI and was not in the least exposed to the "Witchcraft Revival" that went on in England at that time which has become a "plus" in my book. The "system" he eventually created was a blend of what he was taught in Europe and what learned in the States. I haven't gotten any of his other books yet but they come highly recommended so I'll be acquiring them eventually. Right now, I'm less concerned with the "religion" part of it than I am with the "magick" part. My research into the various pre-Christian religions has taught me that current practice, except for the strict reconstructionists, bears no resemblance to ancient practice. So I'm definitely putting religious practice on one "side" and magickal practice on the other "side." That way I should be able to avoid confusing the two. And MoonCat has just wandered off with the abovementioned book....


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Penthesilea Forum Administrator Offline Warrior Queen, DarkLady, Phoenix, Ghostbuster Posts: 47422 Location: The Castle..... Joined: Jun 21^st, 2006 Gender:	Re: On My Journey Reply #563 - Apr 30^th, 2010 at 6:51pm	Print Post
	Interesting. A couple of years ago, I was thinking about making up some soaps to use for ritual baths and such. I intended to use an unscented or lightly scented liquid "body wash" base for these soaps. I had no luck finding anything like that locally so I went online. �I found what I needed, of course, but in order to justify the shipping charges, I would have needed to order gallons of soap, much more than I needed for my own experiments and eventual personal use. �So I reluctantly gave up the idea. Today, while looking for something else in the grocery store's "soap" aisle I looked up and there was the soap I needed on the top shelf! There were three kinds, two scented but the third was "classic clean" a very mild scent and perfect for my use! Furthermore, it was "Buy One, get one free" so I did. I now have two pint bottles of liquid, lightly scented soap -- Kirk's Original Coco Castile, for your information. NOW all I have to do is decide what to make up first. Decisions, decisions.. And I also found what I went into that aisle to find in the first place. All in all, a good day!


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Penthesilea Forum Administrator Offline Warrior Queen, DarkLady, Phoenix, Ghostbuster Posts: 47422 Location: The Castle..... Joined: Jun 21^st, 2006 Gender:	Re: On My Journey Reply #564 - May 4^th, 2010 at 5:02pm	Print Post
	I found this on my wanderings through the occult blogosphere. I'd read it before, of course, but the occultists who read it apparently had not. I'll get around to commenting more later. "I have known many gods. He who denies them is as blind as he trusts them too deeply. I seek not death. It may be the blackness averred by the Nemedian skeptics, or Crom�s realm of ice and cloud, or the snowy plains and vaulted halls of the Nordheimer�s Valhalla. I know not, nor do I care. Let me live deep while I live; let me know the rich juices of red meat and the stinging wine on my palate, the hot embrace of white arms, the mad exultation of battle when the blue blades flame and crimson, and I am content. Let the teachers and priests and philosophers brood over questions of reality and illusion. I know this: if life is illusion, then I am no less an illusion, and being thus, the illusion is real to me. I live, I burn with life, I love, I slay, and am content." -Robert E. Howard, from �Queen of the Black Coast.�


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Penthesilea Forum Administrator Offline Warrior Queen, DarkLady, Phoenix, Ghostbuster Posts: 47422 Location: The Castle..... Joined: Jun 21^st, 2006 Gender:	Re: On My Journey Reply #565 - May 7^th, 2010 at 8:48pm	Print Post
	I can't say it any better. I know 'cause I just tried. The blog entry I'm referring to is "The Evil Eye." http://kenazfilan.blogspot.com/


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Penthesilea Forum Administrator Offline Warrior Queen, DarkLady, Phoenix, Ghostbuster Posts: 47422 Location: The Castle..... Joined: Jun 21^st, 2006 Gender:	Re: On My Journey Reply #566 - Jun 3^rd, 2010 at 11:24pm	Print Post
	My memory was jogged just now. �I have a copy of The Tao of Jeet Kune Do. It's up at the Guest House but I'm not sure where and I don't know what condition it's in. I need to find it. The teachings would be good for me and good for Book 3 since a character in it is based on Bruce Lee. "What are the chances?"
	« Last Edit: Jul 13^th, 2011 at 1:52am by Penthesilea »

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Penthesilea Forum Administrator Offline Warrior Queen, DarkLady, Phoenix, Ghostbuster Posts: 47422 Location: The Castle..... Joined: Jun 21^st, 2006 Gender:	Re: On My Journey Reply #567 - Jun 14^th, 2010 at 5:55pm	Print Post
	Doing a lot of thinking, wondering where these next steps on the path are going to take me. �There is a book I think I need to be studying. I can get it from Amazon, no problem, but after putting over $1,300 on my credit card for van repairs -- and the dang thing is in the shop for the third time in two weeks -- I'm hesitant to put any more on it until I see what the hit for the month is going to be. �I guess that if the Universe wants me to have that book NOW, it's gonna have to put it where I can pay cash for it, preferably less than the cover price! Hear this, Universe! I need a new/like new paperback copy of Initiation into Hermetics by Franz Bardon for $20 or less! Get cracking! I wanna see if it is as indispensable to the education of an aspiring sorceress as various people claim!
	« Last Edit: Jun 14^th, 2010 at 5:56pm by Penthesilea »

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Penthesilea Forum Administrator Offline Warrior Queen, DarkLady, Phoenix, Ghostbuster Posts: 47422 Location: The Castle..... Joined: Jun 21^st, 2006 Gender:	Re: On My Journey Reply #568 - Jun 21^st, 2010 at 5:32pm	Print Post
	I wish that the damned weather would settle down. Maybe then the nightmares would stop....


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Penthesilea Forum Administrator Offline Warrior Queen, DarkLady, Phoenix, Ghostbuster Posts: 47422 Location: The Castle..... Joined: Jun 21^st, 2006 Gender:	Re: On My Journey Reply #569 - Jul 3^rd, 2010 at 2:11am	Print Post
	Reading a lot about myself on our sister-site. It's given me a lot to think about. I'm gonna have to make a word doc out of the whole conversation so I can have a hardcopy record of it to mull over. �Someone once told me that he thought I was here for a "complete awakening." Wonder if this is what he meant. If so, something else he said, more than once, takes on a whole new meaning.... Oh! There is also a free PDF of Initiation into Hermetics by Franz Bardon on USS that I will be downloading first chance I get. According to the poster, it isn't the best translation around but it should be good enough for me to decide if shelling out $30 for a sight unseen book is a good idea! I guess Uni came through!
	« Last Edit: Jul 5^th, 2010 at 5:59am by Penthesilea »

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Penthesilea Forum Administrator Offline Warrior Queen, DarkLady, Phoenix, Ghostbuster Posts: 47422 Location: The Castle..... Joined: Jun 21^st, 2006 Gender:	Re: On My Journey Reply #570 - Jul 5^th, 2010 at 6:17pm	Print Post
	I've been sitting here thinking about conversations both public and private that I've had over the last couple of days. Lots of things to think about including soul bonds. Interesting things those. They have no regard for society's conventions or what anyone might think of them. They exist and no amount of screaming, yelling, denying, tantrum throwing or spell casting is going to change that in the slightest particular. Insisting that an "inconvenient" connection doesn't exist, that it is wishful thinking at best and delusional at worst only makes the protester look like a jealous fool, especially if people outside of the bond who have the ability to sense such things, see it clearly. Acceptance of "what is" is the only recourse since fighting it is not only a waste of energy but depending on the method of "fighting back" it can be a surefire way to turn your life into a train wreck of epic proportions. What I believed existed did and still does exist. It is still being sensed by psychics with neither 'real life' knowledge of my life or an emotional stake one way or another in the situation. Interference in that situation was not necessary but it happened anyway. So now I wait for the wheel to turn and for things to right themselves. I have every confidence that they will. It will just take time and I'm getting good at waiting.
	« Last Edit: Jul 17^th, 2010 at 4:50am by Penthesilea »

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Penthesilea Forum Administrator Offline Warrior Queen, DarkLady, Phoenix, Ghostbuster Posts: 47422 Location: The Castle..... Joined: Jun 21^st, 2006 Gender:	Re: On My Journey Reply #571 - Jul 17^th, 2010 at 5:05am	Print Post
	I've been having all sorts of interesting "private" conversations with various people on various subjects, mostly about true love, soul kin, psy-vamps and shielding. I won't be talking publicly about those conversations but transcripts will be going into my Book -- that's Book as in BoS NOT novels! -- because the people I'm talking with are giving me things to think about and assistance in finding my way through the neverending thicket that seems to describe my journey the last few years! Just having someone to talk to about these things, someone who is reasonably certain that I am sane is in itself, a great help. �
	« Last Edit: Jul 17^th, 2010 at 5:07am by Penthesilea »

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Penthesilea Forum Administrator Offline Warrior Queen, DarkLady, Phoenix, Ghostbuster Posts: 47422 Location: The Castle..... Joined: Jun 21^st, 2006 Gender:	Re: On My Journey Reply #572 - Jul 18^th, 2010 at 11:17pm	Print Post
	I just saw a small hawk on the ground outside of the kitchen window. It was small so I think it was a kestral. ETA: Have done some quick research and it was "probably" a juvenile red tailed hawk. I finally found a picture of an adult kestral sitting on a falconer's hand and it was much smaller than the bird I saw which was approximately "crow sized."
	« Last Edit: Jul 18^th, 2010 at 11:46pm by Penthesilea »

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Penthesilea Forum Administrator Offline Warrior Queen, DarkLady, Phoenix, Ghostbuster Posts: 47422 Location: The Castle..... Joined: Jun 21^st, 2006 Gender:	Re: On My Journey Reply #573 - Aug 9^th, 2010 at 2:39am	Print Post
	Okay. I got some unsettling information from a psychic "reading" over on the sister-site this evening. "Unsettling" in the "HOLY " sense, not in any bad way. It "could" change a lot of things, my concept of my "Self" not the least among them. � And what about those to whom I'm "soul connected?" Skywise, the girls, Nike and others? It seems logical that those in my "soul group/family" would be similar to me, doesn't it? �It seems so to me but I'm gonna have to think about this. A LOT. And see where it takes me. Things are happening. Nothing can stop them. And I don't think we have that long to wait to find out exactly what is going down and how...
	« Last Edit: Aug 11^th, 2010 at 4:33pm by Penthesilea »

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Penthesilea Forum Administrator Offline Warrior Queen, DarkLady, Phoenix, Ghostbuster Posts: 47422 Location: The Castle..... Joined: Jun 21^st, 2006 Gender:	Re: On My Journey Reply #574 - Aug 11^th, 2010 at 5:07pm	Print Post
	Yesterday, I started a program of development that "should", if the author's claims are true, allow me to finally tap into the abilities that I've been told I have but have been unable to access. �At the very least, I hope to be able to use all this energy I have for something other than glowing like a searchlight! � I really want to take Jason Miller's Strategic Sorcery course but I don't have $150 laying around at the moment. My spare cash is dedicated at the moment for the purchase of serious and sexy leather armor and a good quality handgun and neither of those goals are going to be abandoned. �I hoping that the Hekate Grimoire that he's been working on for the last ten years -- under the guidance of the Goddess Herself -- will be out before too much longer. I DESPERATELY want to get my hands on that book! I "might" be what the psychics I'm hanging out with say I am but that doesn't mean that is ALL that I am. I know my "self" pretty well. I know what kind of personality I have and I have to wonder what use a personality like mine would be in the world after ascension which is painted as paradise. But, I've seen hints here and there on various websites and in books that there might still be a need for those willing and able to knock heads. If that turns out to be the case, it explains why so many "warrior born" seem to be on the road to 5-D or 6-D reality. Interesting things are happening. I don't know if it is because I'm changing, others are, or both but I think that things are going to be "sorted out" fairly soon. �I think that the road will be rough or smooth depending on the path that one has chosen. �I and mine have chosen the path of love so I have no real worries. Those who have chosen fear, hatred, greed, selfishness and anger are the ones who will see the predictions of hell on earth realized. �I probably should pity them but they were offered the same choice as the rest of us and made it of their own free will. There are no "undecideds" left, the last of the lessons are being learned and the last of the "karmic debts" are being paid off and brought into balance. It will be interesting to see what comes next....


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